Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
