I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
