At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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