Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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