then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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