Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
