so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize