Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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