yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
