Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
