marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
