I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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