I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
did i walk over a car last night?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
