i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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