I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize