I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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