Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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