i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
