Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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