He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
