there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize