it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
