Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
