So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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