So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
