He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
