It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
