I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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