So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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