Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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