So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
