I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
