I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
