HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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