I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
