I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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