Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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