they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
