I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
