rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
