dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i think im in europe. pls send help
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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