He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
