after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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