btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We got so high we made milksteak
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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