bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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