I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
