i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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