the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
