Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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