My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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