I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
