maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize