Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish life had little blips of pornography
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
