they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
