please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
