Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
