Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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