Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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