Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
