In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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