i would punch a child for taco bell
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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