so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Randomize
