no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
