I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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