you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
are you so shy because you have an std?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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