i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
