so explain again why im purple
no
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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