I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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