I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
