oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
