Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
